7 Ways to Make Your Emotions Work for You (Instead of Against You)
How to turn emotional chaos into clarity, confidence, and connection
October 22, 2025
Author: Christy Maxey, Founder of The Maxx Method™
Introduction
For years, psychologists have been uncovering what many of us already sensed deep down - emotional intelligence matters. Finally!
We spend over a decade in school learning math, grammar, and geology - but almost no time learning about ourselves or how to navigate our emotions. It’s no wonder so many adults struggle with anxiety, depression, or relationship conflict.
We are all emotional beings. Our moods, thoughts, and behaviors are driven by emotion. Yet, most of us were never taught how to understand or manage them. The result? We get stuck in patterns of stress, self-criticism, and disconnection.
The good news is that you can change that.
Here are seven ways to make your emotions work for you - and start influencing the people around you to do the same.
1. Increase Your Awareness of Your Emotions
Emotions are a powerful part of who you are.
When you embrace that truth, you’ll find it easier to accept the emotions of others - partners, friends, coworkers.
Most of us get stuck in negative emotions because we never learned how to manage them. Start by tracking your feelings.
Each evening, jot down:
- What emotions you felt that day
- What triggered them
- How you responded
Awareness is the first step toward mastery.
2. Challenge the Thoughts Behind the Feelings
Your emotions are linked to your thoughts - and here’s the kicker: your thoughts aren’t always true.
Chances are, you’ve been carrying old, self-defeating beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t succeed.”
Once you become aware of these, write them down. Then list all the reasons they are not true.
This simple practice helps you see that emotions often come from distorted thinking - and that you have the power to change the story.
3. Listen to Your Body - It Speaks the Language of Emotion
Emotions show up in the body long before they reach the mind.
Tight shoulders may signal stress. A flutter in your stomach may point to fear.
These sensations are real messages, not random discomfort.
When you tune into them, you can trace the feeling back to the thought that triggered it - and begin shifting it consciously.
The body never lies. It’s your emotional compass.
4. You Can’t Change What You Ignore
When you bury your emotions, they don’t disappear - they leak out as anxiety, addiction, or anger.
Facing your feelings takes courage, but it’s the only path to growth.
Awareness allows you to examine what’s really going on beneath the surface and begin to change it.
Ask yourself: What am I trying to avoid feeling right now?
That question alone can start the process of emotional freedom.
5. Practice Acceptance, Not Judgment
Judging yourself doesn’t create change - it creates shame.
When you meet your emotions with compassion instead of criticism, you transform them. Acceptance opens the door to wisdom, creativity, and healing.
The more compassion you show yourself, the more you’ll extend it to others - creating deeper, more emotionally secure relationships.
6. Get Support When You Need It
If you feel stuck, don’t go it alone.
The right therapist or coach can help you release difficult emotions, challenge negative thinking, and replace self-defeating behaviors with healthy ones.
Find someone you trust - someone who can teach you practical life-long tools for emotional regulation and self-worth.
7. Celebrate Emotional Growth
As you increase your emotional intelligence, you’ll free yourself from negativity and open up to more genuine joy, confidence, and connection.
Don’t ignore the good emotions - get to know them too.
Ask, “What thoughts created this feeling?”
Then, savor it. Gratitude amplifies what’s already working.
Final Reflection
When you make your emotions work for you, life feels lighter, relationships become healthier, and you experience more peace within yourself.
You don’t need to eliminate emotions - just learn to understand, comfort them and direct them.