When the Pursuit of Perfection Inhibits Our Best Effort While recently cleaning and organizing my office, I happened upon an old issue of Psychology Today containing a piece by Eric Maisel detailing the intellectual limitations many of us face in pursuit of our personal and professional goals [“The Smart Gap,” October 2013]. While reading, I began to think about how the idea of perfection often prevents us from striving for the best outcomes we are…
Searching for Love Outside of Yourself At the core of every individual is the desired for love. At our very foundation, as social beings, is the need to feel a sense of belonging, that we matter. There is no greater sense of purpose or belonging than the security that accompanies our knowing that we are indeed loved. In my years of working with clients, I have witnessed all too often, individuals who believe that if…
7 Ways to Boost Your Mental Health Naturally Throughout my years of working with clients, I have found that many of them – when dealing with difficult emotions, anxiety, and mild-depression – are often prescribed psychotropics medications. My concern is we don’t learn how to cope with normal ups, downs and lows in our life. While I always encourage my clients to seek out the mental health care they need, I also believe it’s much…
Thoughts vs. Emotions: Understanding the Difference Can Make a Difference Two facets of my MaxxMethod approach are thoughts and emotions. At the beginning of working on Personal Development, when asked how we feel, we often respond with a thought.Since many of us have trouble identifying the difference between the two, I thought it would be an important topic. This first step is becoming aware of their difference and how each influences and shapes our lives.…
The Secret to Healing Our Emotions Have you ever felt like you were going to faint or have a heart attack over a breakup, failed project, or embarrassing memory from the past? A feeling that is so uncomfortable that it is going to suck the life right out of you and literally put you in an early grave?Well, I have some good news: it won’t! Some emotions may bring you to your knees and make…
Taking the Mystery Out of Mindfulness with 3 Easy StepsThere is an excitement all about us. One cannot live in our modern, technologically-advanced age and not take notice of the constant stream of information and the unending list of tasks we must accomplish to ensure our work and personal lives remain on track. It can be overwhelming and is often exhausting.In the midst of this whirlwind of activity and distraction, we seldom take the time…
4 Steps to Changing Negative Core BeliefsOne of the central facets of negative-thinking patterns and negative core beliefs comes not from the negative thought alone, but from our willingness to agree with it. For example, I am amazed at how often my clients consistently believe they’re not good enough. These are people who are often successful in their career, amazing attentive parents, and still do not think they are “good enough.” They’ve adopted this belief…
Emotional Kintsugi: Self-Compassion is Gold I recently read an article detailing the Japanese custom of kintsugi, which is an artform of repairing broken pottery with a special-formed bonding lacquer mixed with either gold, silver, or platinum. The purpose of the process—central to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi—is to highlight the imperfections and the history of the pottery, rather than simply repairing the damage so that it is no longer visible. Writing in Architectural Digest, noted…