Negative Core Beliefs: Agreeing to Disagree
One of the central facets of negative-thinking patterns and Negative Core Beliefs comes not from the negative thought alone, but from our willingness to agree with it.
For example, if I find myself uncomfortable and anxious in social situations due to a negative core belief that I will say something stupid or awkward and the people I am engaging with will think that I am indeed an idiot, the actual negative core belief in this is example is the thought of being viewed as unintelligent or less than.
However, the feeling is reinforced when I agree that I am indeed stupid; when I agree with the basis of the Negative Core Belief. When we work on ourselves and begin to identify those negative core beliefs, the most crucial element in the process is firmly disagreeing with the entire negative premise.
So, if I am fearful of engaging in conversations socially, because I might say something stupid and be regard as such by others, I can work out the negative thinking pattern and disagree with the central premise. In this case, I am not unintelligent, in fact I have confidence that I am bright and interesting.
I am not going to be regarded as stupid by others, because I value myself as intelligent. I disagree with the Negative Core Belief and once I have firmly done so, I remove the power it has over me.
Try this exercise whenever you feel a Negative Core Belief influencing the direction of your life. In your inner monologue, speak up for yourself and strongly disagree! You will be surprised how such a simple acknowledgement of fact can go along a way in our daily work of caring for ourselves.
As I like to point out to my clients, you are the best advocate of you.