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Emotional Intelligence

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5 Ways to Build a Natural Antidepressant Brain Do you ever wish you had the ability to feel better more often when it comes to your mental and emotional health? You know, less anxiety, loneliness, depression, sadness, low-self-esteem and struggles in your relationships. More excitement and joy over life and greater satisfaction and love in your relationships. The term ‘the antidepressant brain’ came to mind this weekend during a road-trip to Colorado where I got…

Unfortunately, many people go through the childhood trauma of some sort. Pia Mellody, author of “Facing Codependence,” (I highly recommend by the way) describes abuse as “anything less than nurturing.” Think about that for a minute. (To be honest, I’m not sure if that was written in her book, or if it was something she said in her trauma training workshop I participated in several years ago.) Nonetheless, it’s a bold statement. Anything less than…

When the Pursuit of Perfection Inhibits Our Best Effort While recently cleaning and organizing my office, I happened upon an old issue of Psychology Today containing a piece by Eric Maisel detailing the intellectual limitations many of us face in pursuit of our personal and professional goals [“The Smart Gap,” October 2013]. While reading, I began to think about how the idea of perfection often prevents us from striving for the best outcomes we are…

Negative Core Beliefs: Agreeing to Disagree One of the central facets of negative-thinking patterns and Negative Core Beliefs comes not from the negative thought alone, but from our willingness to agree with it. For example, if I find myself uncomfortable and anxious in social situations due to a negative core belief that I will say something stupid or awkward and the people I am engaging with will think that I am indeed an idiot, the…

Screen Time vs. Me Time While clicking through TED Talks on YouTube, I ran across this brief talk by Adam Alter on the amount of time we spend engaging with technology and some of the long-term effects it may have on us individually as well as its impact on society. Working with my clients, more and more I find that they are growing concerned about the amount of time they spend engaging with technology. This…

When We Devalue Others, We Devalue Ourselves I recently came across this blog post from Brené Brown, adapted from a chapter of her Braving the Wilderness, and I was reminded how much of our current political discourse is dominated by such extremes in language. Throughout the course of my life, just up to a few years ago, I recall there being political disagreements and differing points of view, but things were never as intense as…

Three Causes of Loneliness and How to Overcome Them I have been thinking a lot lately about feelings of loneliness and how to overcome them. Over the years I have observed an increase in loneliness in my clients and amongst some of the people I know personally. In fact, a recent study has revealed that nearly half of all American adults reported feeling lonely, left out, and isolated. What is important to consider, when it…

5 Approaches to Managing Negative Thoughts All too often we find ourselves feeling anxious and overwhelmed at just the thought of engaging in the activities necessary to reach our goals and live out our dreams. If finding your way through life were easy, everyone would be doing it and you wouldn’t be reading this! One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to change our thinking patterns and alter our Negative Core Beliefs is…

What is Childhood Trauma and How to Heal I was recently asked what exactly childhood trauma is. What constitutes childhood trauma and how does that trauma impact our lives as adults? While the Wikipedia page on childhood trauma provides an in depth and heavily-referenced treatment on the topic, I found this article from Very Well Minds which discusses the effects of childhood trauma. I believe it offers us a very clear insight into the nature of childhood trauma and…

As the Gender Pendulum Swings: True Equality and the Crisis of MenOver the years of working with thousands of clients, I have come to believe that men deserve more praise, love, and compassion. If that sentence raises your hackles, hear me out first.Like most people, I have had the good fortune to grow up, and work with men who were decent and honorable; great men who worked hard for their families with little to no…

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